Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
