like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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