Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
