at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's official drugs can't kill me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
