So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
