Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
