I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
