you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
