And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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