I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
