She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
