I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
