I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
