i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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