I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
