Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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