Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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