I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
