we have officially lost it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
