oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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