Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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