some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
