the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
