I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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