okay pat passed out under dana's car
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
