I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
