White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
