Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
