also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
