we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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