I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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