plz talk dirty to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
