I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
