After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
