then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
