I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
