Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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