So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
