Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
