Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
