You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
