So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
