you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
