Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
