Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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