im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
