I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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