Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
