Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
