I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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