You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Such a big mess for such a small penis
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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