she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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