You're my little dorito
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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