My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
