The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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