Dual....:-)
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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