Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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