Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
