Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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