She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
